Friday, August 31, 2012

More attacks

So the last week has been rough for me personally. Satan is wearing on my nerves! He is using my tiredness, Belle, and Paul to get to me. Lack of sleep is making me cranky, and Belle has been cranky not always sleeping well and therefore tantrum central. So my patience has bee really thin with her. And then for what reason other than I am tired and cranky this morning I picked a fight with Paul over chores and stuff. Then continued it when he got off work. Why I don't really know. I am tired of doing a majority of the house chores alone, but will that change? I don't know. I know there are people out there that do all of it, caring for children, cleaning everything, and working but I am a more anxious person and cannot handle everything myself. I just hope God always keeps that in mind for his plans for my life! Sorry for griping a bit about chores. Anyway, i was totally not nice to Paul and Belle some this week. Satan has also been filling my head with negative thoughts about myself as a mom and wife. I have had thoughts that I don't deserve to adopt and such. And as these thoughts enter, I know they are lies but after a while it's hard to not believe it. I am going to focus more on praying and reading the Bible, so maybe I am better prepared for Satan's attacks. And I am so thankful for the friends and family I have to encourage me when I am feeling down. I know who I can text, e-mail, or call and they will help me, listen to me, and pray for me. Thank you! You know who you are!

On another note, and one of the reasons why I was so tired today was because I stayed late at work last night to help because they needed extra hands. My co-workers are great and a great team to be part of!

And this week my friend left to get her two kids from China that they are adopting! They will be gone from their biological kids for three weeks. So please pray for them on their adoption journey, safe travels, bonding with the adopted kiddos, that they stay feeling well, and that they get rest!

As far as our adoption is concerned, we got some of our papers for our dossier approve this week. But I also have to get my FBI fingerprints redone. I am trying to figure out where I can do that! And I am working on making some crafts to sell to raise money. We have also gotten more money by selling things! Money for our dossier that we hope to submit by the end of the year!! Praying for the money to submit our dossier to Ethiopia by the end of this year, please pray with me!

Pray that Satan takes a break from me and my family right now because I worry that I am in over my head with this adoption! Thank you for reading and prayers!!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Been a while!

Wow! I just realized how long it's been since I last posted! Well, for starters Paul's job is going well. He likes the place, the people, and the pay has been decent. This week will probably be the first week that he doesn't get close to 40 hours, but that is okay and that is the nature of his profession. We had our physicals for our adoption, which went well. We are just waiting for the form to be notarized and sent back. We sent in our fingerprints and should have our clearances soon. The work on our house started last week. The dug new footers and put in the concrete. Now they just need to install the new beams. I cannot remember if I posted how much it was but thankfully it is only $4500 for all the work! I was so relieved when I heard that! The last few weeks have just been routine living for the most part. Belle is now potty training big time. She is wearing panties at home. She has some accidents, but does fairly well. She has stopped fighting me so much about going potty. Before she was screaming, stiffening her body and refusing. She has however been throwing more tantrums and screaming in my face. I am working on being more consistent with punishments and consequences. It is very difficult though because there are times where I just don't feel like following through because I am tired. The devil attacks me when I am tired and my fuse is a lot shorter. But I survive and so does Belle. I also went to Women of Faith last week and it was awesome!! I haven't been in three years since I found out I was pregnant with Belle. So the testimonies, advice, and stories I saw in a different light this time. I took parenting and life advice and teaching. And I saw Mandisa in concert again!! She was awesome! I love her! I tried to meet her, but was too late, so I was extremely disappointed by that, but I will see and meet her someday and tell her how much her song "He is with you" affected me and my life. I started training someone at work as well, which I did back in January and did not work out so well, but now is going very well. That's the synopsis of the last few weeks.

I am also working on fundraising for our adoption. We had a "wet hair cut" fundraiser last Sunday and in four hours made $265!! I am also working on making some crafts to sell to make money for our adoption. I have so many ideas about how to make money, but I doubt myself and whether they will actually sell or not. So I think I may post things to Facebook and see if I get interest in them, and maybe do a craft fair. If I don't get much interest then I will not make more and sell more. We have officially chosen a name for our Ethiopian girl. I will wait to post that later since there are restrictions on doing things like that until you pass court and the child is definitely yours. So it will remain a mystery until much later. Paul and I are also thinking this will take much longer than I had anticipated and thought. But all in God's timing. I am guessing that Belle will be 4 by the time we bring our girl home (hopefully!). I know God is preparing us for this and preparing our hearts. I read a blog last night that goes through the adoption process in steps (emotionally) and then the first year. And she hits the first stage and I am sure all of the stages on the head. We are in the stage of dreaming, wanting, and hoping for our little girl. It's like a pregnancy again, but without the body changes, hormones, and the definite arrival date. I am also praying that in the next year or at the very least once we get her home, I can work part time. I think I may have to because of her needs and I don't want to leave her with anyone except family initially until we are adjusted and that could be a year! And God is providing the funds also, not only with fundraising opportunities but everything. I am so excited to see what God has in store for us and our family. God is providing everything we need for our family plus. And if he didn't want this adoption to take place we wouldn't be getting the funds. The only reason I think it really takes so long and you hit bumps in the road is Satan. Satan wants you to suffer and give up, but God does not and will help you through everything if you just trust Him! I trust Him with all of our finances! We have been tithing more since May and He has provided enough even with the job loss, and still enough to put some into savings!

I will try to post again soon and maybe post some of my crafts to sell!!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Praising God

So honestly I cannot remember when I last posted. But here is the synopsis of the last few days or half of the week. Most importantly Paul got a job. He started on Monday. It comes with health insurance if we want it, tool money every week, and a regular base flat rate pay. Which for those who don't know what that is, it is commission. So two weeks and he has another job. So far he likes it. He likes the owners and the other guys that work there. Oh, and the other major plus....he is 20 minutes from home! So we are now both 20 minutes from work.

Work last week was so weird! We barely had any patients. This week is a little different but I still got on call for my overtime. Which defeated the purpose but whatever I still got paid a few dollars per hour to stay home.

As far as adoption things go, Paul and I got our physicals and just need some blood work and we are good to go. The doctor is kindly getting our papers notarized himself so we don't have to do it! And I am able to read Paul's pod since I am an RN! The doctor was fine with that so Paul doesn't have to miss work again. We have also decided instead of doing a spaghetti luncheon fundraiser we will do a coffee and dessert with silent auction fundraiser at Christmas! We will e featuring the coffee from the company we are doing another fundraiser through which has Ethiopian coffee. So of course we will feature that! I am excited about that most! And we will also be doing a "wet cut" fundraiser for hair cuts! Thanks to a dear friend for doing that one for us!

So we (or at least I was) concerned about money and bills for the month. And before I got my last paycheck for the month I was doing some serious number crunching and figuring out how to make the bills. I was to the point of using every last spare dollar we had in checks to pay bills. Then I got paid. I had not gotten paid what I should have for a call shift that I was called in for in June. So that was in this check. Wouldn't you know that after that deposit without any cash I had enough to pay bills! I maybe need a little more but I really don't that I do! And once Paul gets last weeks severance we will even be able to save some money for the month! And we have decided to pay ourselves to get our house fixed instead of borrowing from anyone and we will pay our savings back every month like we would a loan but without interest. God is good and has provided exactly what we need! Thank you Lord and I praise you for talking care of my family! I trust Him with everything. It is hard but this alone has shown me he truly cares and will take care of us! Thank you!