Remembering

So today is my dad's birthday. He would have been 54. I miss him so much sometimes. I usually try to focus on the daily life and Belle and getting Adeline home rather than missing my dad. But today in taking a few moments to think, feel sad, and remember who he was. Dad was a great man and loved his family so much. He loved Belle more than She will sadly know first hand. He loved to laugh and joke. Some of his jokes were so silly and we got so tired of! But I now find myself telling them to Belle and trying to get her to say them too. I feel like he left too soon but I know that it was Gods plan for that to happen. At first when it happened I was somewhat angry with God wondering why he would give me such a great "replacement" dad and then take him away when I needed him and my mom. But I have learned that it wasn't about me. It was all about Gods plan for my dad, me, and our family. I can now relate more to those who have lost loved ones. God has helped me cope and grow through the loss of my dad and he may have even prepared me for something that will happen and I just don't know what it is yet. But I do know that everything does happen for a reason and God has his hand in everything. I can only try to tell Belle who he was, what he was like, and how much he loved her. And then tell Addie about him too. I think he would embrace our adoption and love her so much too! And mom gave me an idea today to get more money for our adoption that feels like it will be my dads support and donation to our fund and bringing Addie home. So happy birthday to my dad in heaven. I miss you and love you!