So today didn't quite turn out exactly the way I would like and didn't start off the greatest. Belle woke up at 0630 today and was cranky and extremely difficult!! She threw a tantrum immediately and continued to throw them. However, this was because she was tired. She also refuses to go to the potty for me, yet she sits fine on the toilet for Paul and goes hourly and pees for my mom. And then trying to get her to take a nap today was awful! I ended up putting her in our bed and napping with her, because every time I put her into her bed she freaked out totally! After her nap though up until now for bed has been very pleasant and happy. But it seems we are needing to teach her to sleep on her own again. Anyway, that is my parenting woes for now.
This morning I called to see if the estimate on the work for our house was ready. He called back about half hour later. I was dreading it. He told me everything that needed to be done which is, lifting the house, digging new footers, placing new columns, and readjusting the current beam. The grand total was $4500! I was shocked! I thought it would be more like $10,000. I felt so relieved and blessed. I did have to tell him that I need a week to figure out financing though, because of Paul's job loss. We are in the process of trying to figure out what we need to do. Either asking people to loan us money and pay them back once Paul has a job or worst case we will have to take out a personal loan or credit card. Now I am not a fan of this and normally would not do this or recommend it, but we do not have enough in our savings account to pay outright for it on top of not knowing when Paul will find another job. So we are praying that God will provide a way to do this as well.
Then all day it seems Paul has either gotten calls about jobs, stopped to see about them and no one needs anyone now but will in a few weeks. So Paul has prospects but just not right now. Though he did get another call tonight that he missed asking for a call back at one of the local shops. Paul is also trying to figure out if this is really what he wants to do for the rest of his career life. I am afraid that the same thing will happen at another shop that happened at the last and I am also concerned about money because with him working commission it is inconsistent and usually does not include benefits. Which puts me at a loss because I want to work part time and be home. And at part time hours the benefits at work more than double.
When Paul checked the mail today, there was a note and check from a friend too. Our friend said to use it for whatever we need whether for bills and such or our adoption. I am very touched by this and so thankful! It is so generous and such a blessing!
We both feel that God is taking care of us and blessing us. Paul I think is getting the message that number one God is taking care of us and number two this is what he needs to stick with doing for right now. However, we both feel God pulling us toward ministry more and more. We are wanting more and more to do missions and help other people. I am not sure what God has in store for us there as far as that is concerned, as of right now we will wait for him to reveal his plan to us.
And with all this blessing did come a Satan attack. Mostly on me, which ended up affecting Paul too, because basically I blew up on him and cursed. I am not proud of this, but also after my post last night about Christians being sinners too, I figured this was a good example. He really didn't deserve it, but I did what I call a verbal vomit. I basically told him everything that I was feeling at the time without regard to what I was saying and how it would make him feel. Hence the vomit part. I know the mental image is not so pretty but what I did was not so pretty either. So Satan was trying to get me and our marriage at the same time. Not that it is Satan's fault for my actions. I have asked Paul and God to forgive me already. And I know they both have. I am not perfect and never will be, but all I can do is try to improve and ask God for help to be the woman, wife, and mother he wants me to be.
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